today(well technically yesterday) was my 21st birthday. im writing this purely for my own records.

it was memorial day, a monday, so we kept things chill. my family got me a beautiful necklace, that is actual grown-up jewelry but cute enough that i will actually wear it! i got my nails done, blue, with my mama and just chilled with my family for most of the day. then i went to dinner with the family and dan. drank a pomegranite-tini. it was funny and crazy like usual, but i had a good time. im so happy my family and dan get along as well as they do. i appreciate him tagging along with my crazy family. he is pretty wonderful. i spent sunday in sag harbor with him, just enjoying the beautiful weather and eating lots of yummy food<3 he is lovely. and saturday my boo rita took me to see a play in the city and it was a lovely girls afternoon! i have some great people in my life :) now back to today...later on in the day mi amigos favoritos came by (angie, kiran, steven) and we chowed down on birthday cake, candy and eventually went to the diner as per usual. my cousins even stopped by which was a lovely surprise! shannon and tim bought me a bottle of absolute ruby red or something hahaha

it was a lovely relaxing day and i cannot wait to go out this weekend in the city with my possums!!!!!!!! thats when the real celebrations will occur, the city is where my heart is and i cant wait to break it down where we all belong. also, ashley shall return tomorrow and we will reunite to full possum force!!!!!!

i have the best family, best friends, best boyfriend and best life.

i love you all.

just finished my junior year of college. cliche but wowwwwww that was fast. this year has been one of the greatest times of my life, but most importantly it was that great because i grew a lot. i think this year i had independence both physically and mentally. and these changes are for good and for the best. i am 3/4 of the way closer to my goals.

i will miss kiran and our townhouse. that room was LIVED in, it was truly home. kiran is a sister, i want to be a part of her life always. we are like a little family. and the other family members are only a few train rides, a few steps, and a bus rides away. angela, ashley, kiran and dan are my family. dont get me wrong, i LOVE my true family too. i see my parents working together, respecting each other, and dare i say it, getting along. mothers day was good, i see my family appreciating each other, and although its bizarre, nothing makes me happier.

so turns out a close friend turned out to be someone pretty special. it was always in the back of my mind, but in recent times we've become so much closer. he's pretty amazing, and while its still new, i think its pretty special<3
and while i know some of you possums are struggling with inter-possum dating, we are friends first and last. and the same will all yall. i am happy, you ALL helped me get here.

rainy relaxing weekend before the rush of finals. summer should be an interesting time. so much changing, but for once im happy about it. i am going to miss this place. i am a different person then i was when i arrived here in august, and most distinctly january. i totally get the whole, you have to know yourself before you can let others in thing now. i am 21 in 22 days.

hmmmmmmmmm.....

well, that was interesting.

i feel finally free.
i love my friends,
i love my city.

every once in a while something pops up that only you would get and it freaks me out that we can't talk about it.

no one should see their mom cry so much on easter.
im sad about the situation but oddly blank. i have to be i guess. seeing my family fall apart is unnatural but seeing your parents unsure, scared, and hurt, is even worse. me and kyle got up really early today to get my mom flowers, my dad was awake in the den when we returned. the reality of the situation just got real but i cant fall apart. maybe my father has some inner turmoil that he will never clear up, maybe my mom is the most stubborn person in the world, i need to learn to accept them both independent of each other.

i throw myself into my friends to make myself feel better, build a community of my own. being jealous doesnt work tara. be yourself. if theres anything this year has taught me, it is to be myself and everything will be the way its supposed too.

went to see adventureland tonight.
it was actually adorable and funny. it kind of brought me back long island summers(even though its not set in li) and working at a really stupid job with stupid people and being miserable but kind of having the time of your life in all its terrible glory. it got me excited for the summer because for the last time in my life i will be a student home for summer break. the last one. those three months are what we live for, what all the hard work and stress are leading up too, well besides graduation. crazy to think about, but i think i will make this last summer one to remember and embrace it all.

i took my second teacher certification test today. it wasn't too bad, just long. working in a first grade class for the small time that i have has taught me more then years of school. im excited and nervous but im up to the challenge. this is what its all about, what its always been about. school has given me so much, friendship, courage, confidence, love, and yea a little knowledge, but this is the goal.

sometimes i think about how fast times goes by. i can't believe ive gotten this far, and im not talking about school(even that went even faster). im proud of myself. you know when people say i can see the light at the end of the tunnel, i think im in the light. a psychic that read my tarot cards last june told me to let the bright light in, and let happiness come to me and not to worry. just because things arent perfect and didnt go perfectly in the past, i try to let the light in, why waste anymore time? ive learned to care about myself, because who better to depend on right?


things are bad at home right now. i hope my parents realize that the 4 of us mean something. my family has always been my backbone, they were the ones that taught me that. i hope they can see that. the holidays are probably going to be nonexistent this year. i cant get upset, whats meant to be will happen. i love both of my parents no matter what. i worry for my brother at home in a divided house but hes strong he will be ok. i look foward to home, even though its not perfect.

after almost 3 years of working hard (most of the time) and countless hours of anxiety and stress i found out that i will be GRADUATING ON TIME next year. and while for some people this is not a big deal, for what i am doing and the situation i had, this is. my dean gave me a break and counted an extra sociology class and adolescent education class as another language credit since i already have 24 in spanish and 3 in italian. whew. i still cannot believe it. i made my LAST SCHEDULE because i will student teach in the spring next year. yes, i will be that person that lurks for about 2 or 3 months, you get close to and then abruptly leaves. i am excited and proud of myself honestly.

after a week without angela i realized how much i cant wait for post college "threes company in brooklyn". life-after-college talk seems to have swept the brains of almost everyone i know recently. i had a revelation recently thinking about how people gauge success. ive always been someone who struggled with dealing with stress and now that i see the light at the end of the college tunnel so to speak im starting to realize what i value the most. keeping an eye on what i value, helps me feel centered. school has by far always been the main focus of my life, and will continue to be in grad school and my career as a teacher, (because essentially i will be in school my whole life) but keeping life well rounded is undeniably important. i bizarrely feel solid in my goals and for the first time, content with that solidness( if that makes sense). i guess i mean i know what i want, and thats not scary because its who i am. i think personal freedom has set in and my mindset is now different. i think i lacked trust in myself for so long, resorted to relying on other people to make me feel happy. success to me means getting a job in a school, preferably a nyc school, living somewhere in nyc with my friends who have become family, and of course continuing to do the things i love. and while some of the details will change over time naturally as they should, for right now nothing else seems more beautiful. i love new york, and as cheesy as that sounds i would feel like i am not achieving the goals i have set for myself if i dont embrace it in everyway. ive wanted to be a teacher for as long as i can remember, even as a little kid, but the reasons i want to teach now are not just for the snazzy sweaters i will get to wear. while it is a solid job with benefits and all that jazz, i know it is a way for me to give back while being creative. i say that a lot, but it is how i want to live my life. i feel like nyc is the center of culture and life. i want to be a part of it. every child has a different story, and i want to know them all if possible. that is what i love.


on a much lighter note-everyone knows i love pop culture and celebrity gossip-BRITNEY SPEARS was great! our lady of cheetos is back and reclaimed her thrown as the princess, arguably the queen(sorry madonna) of pop. and while i would much rather advertise my love for serious musicians for street cred-homegirl was fierce. she is the queen of our generation the end all be all of the word celebrity. i love britney and im glad shes back. when she played hit me baby i realize i was in the presence of the icon she is.


so to wrap this up, i wish life was life this(mostly because for the wardrobe):



just realized i turn 21 in 2 months. wow.





oh and TWITTER REVOLUTION!
http://twitter.com/star25t

i will update SOON.


it is quite HYSTERICAL how many people hate the possums when we essentially don't do anything.

so heres whats going on( i will go into detail at another time):
-angie is in las vegas :,(
-spring break started off SUPER FUN!!!!! at the wolf lodge with some of my favorite peoples in the world
-spring break is ending with sam banks being a punkassbitch
-we were called "racist gay morons" and anyone who knows us knows 1. ashley's black, we just don't like you 2. gay is the opposite of an insult to us, its a compliment. 3. we might be the funniest wittiest bitches around. atleast to each other, which is all that counts.
-i still LOVE rupauls drag race more than anything.